I feel the same way sometimes. My 40 years as an educator found me adequate to do this work. Since junior high age, I'd wanted to be nothing more than a teacher. Jesus went out on a limb and gave me the education, experience, enthusiasm, and energy to be what I needed to be in those classrooms.
During my last 16 career years as professor of education at Martin Methodist College, my students would frequently ask me when I was going to retire. I don't think they were asking hopefully but rather simply from curiosity. My answer was always the same, "When I can't enter this classroom and be excited and enthusiastic about teaching you to be teachers, it will be time to retire." That actually never happened. I retired anyway in 2017. I still keep in touch with many of my graduates on Facebook. Most are now my colleagues and doing exceptional work in the classroom. I enjoyed following their 2020 challenges.
Thinking back on the 1 Timothy 12 passage, I imagine what Paul might be asking is captured in the lyrics of the song "Why Me, Lord?"
Why me, Lord, what have I ever done to deserve even one of the blessings I've known?
Why me, Lord, what did I ever do that was worth love from you and the kindness you've shown?
Lord, help me Jesus, I've wasted it so; help me, Jesus, I know what I am.
Now that I know that I've needed you so, help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand.
Try me, Lord, if you think there's a way, I can try to repay all I've taken from you.
Maybe, Lord, I can show someone else what I've been through myself on my way back to you.
Lord, help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so; help me, Jesus, I know what I am.
Now that I know that I've needed you so, help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand.
This song poses a sobering question which translates in my mind to, "What have I ever done to deserve my career, my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my travel opportunities, and now my retirement?" The even more sobering answer comes to me, "NOTHING! Absolutely nothing."
I take solace in Paul's words in Romans 7:25 (MSG): "The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different." Jesus took a chance on me. He went out on a limb. For. Me! Jesus, my soul's in your hand.