As inevitable as a deer in the headlights

It was bound to happen. That’s what inevitable means, right? Synonyms from my Word 2007 list include to be expected, to be anticipated, unavoidable, certain. Eventually it was bound to happen. As in the recent movie Avatar – because of a very predictable story line, not unlike a combo of Dances with Wolves, A Man Called Horse, and the animated Pocahontas – some of the good guys were bound to get killed. The only questions were who, when, and how. It was as inevitable as kryptonite having a harmful effect on Superman’s powers.

So it was this holiday season. We’ve been driving the curvy, hilly roads of southern Middle Tennessee for the last 12 years and have had some close encounters with raccoon, possum, skunks, and even the dogs allowed to run free or dumped along the highway by neglectful owners. With the proliferation of deer in dem dere hills, it was inevitable that someday one would appear in our headlights. So it was that on Sunday, December 27, at about 6:30 p.m., my wife and I were concluding a 13½ hour road trip from our grandsons’ home in Texas. We had to get home and do our laundry after 10 days and over 2,500 miles of visiting with three of our four children’s families, their combined managerie of two dogs and four cats, and all four grandchildren in three different states celebrating one college graduation and two Christmases (only very special people – they’re called grandparents – get to double up on those). We were catching a plane the next afternoon for Massachusetts to ring in the New Year with our only remaining unvisited daughter’s family and her one dog and three cats. It was inevitable that something would slow our plans. Fortunately they weren’t derailed.

The inevitability is more apparent in the realization that bad things always happen in groups of three. At least that’s what I’ve always heard – though I couldn’t point to the scientifically-based research to support that adage. Additionally, bad things happen to good people – and my wife is the best person I know. So let me explain the three bad, similar things that happened on this trip and you be the judge.

The first occurred as we were within 50 miles of our twin grandtoddlers (15 months old) in New Mexico. I was driving and my wife was dozing in the front passenger seat. All of a sudden we were bombarded by several (6-10 although it all happened so quickly that I didn’t get an accurate count) small birds. They had been zooming above the highway, darting hither and yon as birds will inevitably do on a cool, windy, Texas afternoon. From the much larger flock – more than six geese, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and that partridge in a pear tree all added together – several unexpectedly veered off from the main group and kamakazied into the front end of our Camry. We were peppered out of the blue. My wife was instantly startled from her napping exclaiming something like, “What was that?” When I explained that we had been attacked by something out of Alfred Hitchcock’s imagination, she was pleasantly amused. Eight days later that initial event of the threesome no longer seemed humorous; but, alas, it turned out that it was inevitable.

But I digress – if you’re still reading this, you may be thinking I digressed a long time ago (friends might suggest years or decades). The second bad thing happened on I-40 on our return to Tennessee. While listening to the final pages of John Grisham’s The Appeal on our car’s MP3 CD player, we were approaching and preparing to pass an 18 wheeler. A compact car had just passed us. Which of those two vehicles threw up the rock that struck the middle of our windshield with a pingy thud and left a spidery crack will always be a mystery. One thing I can say without fear of contradiction…that method of receiving broken car glass is inevitable unless one drives very slowly and only in the driveway. Even then eventually some pebble would be slung up by a passing vehicle and bounce its way to our car’s windshield. NOT! We park inside the garage where flying stones aren’t very numerous. My wife and I seldom hurl them at each other…at least not in the garage where windshields are in proximity.

Replacing the finally concluded Grisham novel – unhappy ending, Bah! Humbug! – with some contemporary Christian music for the last hour of a long daze road trip, we turned off I-40 at Exit 148 for the last stretch of the journey home. Five minutes later the landscape changed suddenly and, did I mention, inevitably? My wife was driving and, as we topped a rise, a small deer appeared frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. It was doing its version of an ice-sculpture-imitation in the middle of our lane. It obviously didn’t see us until the close encounter with the front-end grillwork of our beautiful, blue 2007 Camry. Drive the Bambi-infested roads of southern Middle Tennessee at night with any frequency and this type of Close Encounter of the Third Kind is eventually inevitable.
So after keying a first draft of this experience – obviously inevitable – I will spend the morning taking my car wherever my State Farm agent tells me to take it and then packing for Massachusetts. I am convinced that the three bad things are behind us and the negative is no longer inevitable. Would that make it evitable? Yes, evitable seems to be a word according to my online Thesaurus. It means esquivable, previsable, salvable, declinable, or eludible. The last two of those dinosaur-generated synonyms I actually comprehend. So, although bad things may happen to good people – I’m going to stay really close to my wife – and negatives may come in threes, I’m going to exercise my ability to be declinable by eschewing dwelling on what may or may not be eludible on the final (bad word choice), round-trip trek of this holiday season. Was it Doris Day or Dinah Shore who sang decades ago “What will be, will be”? No use worrying about it, since it’s inevitable. Right? Indubitably! God, grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

'Tis the season...

I've been pondering what to blog for this Christmas season. I'm not sure I have a handle on that at all yet; but I've decided to just start and let the ramblings and meanderings fall where they may. How's that last sentence for an opening ramble?

Besides the main reason for the season, there are many other sidelights. This is the season for making memories and glad tidings. I'm grateful that one of our youth at church spoke last night in the short devotional message before Bible classes about gratitude and thanksgiving. He started with a semi-apology about knowing it wasn't Thanksgiving any more and then stated he was going to speak about that anyway. He reminded me of many parts of my life for which I shall be eternally grateful and thankful on a daily basis...

I turned 61 last Monday. Many haven't made it to that many birthdays. According to Dr. Josh Axe, if I eat and live right, I may make it to 60 more. Let's see...if I have great grandchildren at about age 75 and great great grandchildren at age 95, I could have great great great grandchildren by the time I'm 115. Dr. Josh seems to believe that I will even still have the energy to bounce them on my knees. That would be incredible. Hope my knees hold out.

I am blessed with absolutely the kindest, sweetest, and loveliest (inside AND OUTSIDE) wife God ever caused to be hooked up with a man. She is a great conversationalist, good listener and supporter, amazing teacher, marvelous mother, and perhaps the most incredible grandmother God ever bestowed on grandkids. Though by now you may be wondering...no, she isn't perfect. She truly acts her age but looks 15 years younger. For fear of retribution, I cannot state her # of years in this blog. I love you, darling! :)

I have four amazing children, all of whom are no longer children. They are all married to wonderful, Christian spouses. They support one another and strengthen each other in their daily walks with God. I like to imagine an augmented Footprints in the Sand poem in which there are mostly three sets of footprints trudging the roads of happy destiny together. Sometimes the prints decrease to two. It is at those times when Jesus carries one of them or perhaps I can imagine that He walks along beside holding the hand of the spouse who is carrying the other spouse. I love that image.

Then there are the four adorable grandchildren...mostly curious and adventurous, sometimes stubborn, sometimes precocious, always precious. I'm grateful to live in the age of digital photography. Grandma and I can take all the photos we want, delete what isn't just right, never pay for film or developing, get prints made very cheaply, and then set up our Windows 2007 desktop and screen saver to show a different photo every few seconds. What's not to like about that? Since our television is next to our computer in the bonus room, I can watch a Hallmark Hall of Fame or Christmas DVD (we no longer have television channels in our home except online) and if it gets the least bit boring, I can shift my gaze slightly to the right and observe my kids and grandkids doing all sorts of alluring stuff...all this from the comfort of my nearly 12-year-old, conformed-to-my-body-shape, Lane recliner.

I'm also thankful for health and transportation good enough and fast enough to enable us to visit all four of our children's families in four different states (none in Tennessee) over 18 days during this holiday season. We will first head west to see Daniel and Katelyn in Searcy, Arkansas (she graduates from Harding University the next day). We will then drive to my brother's home in Texas - Drake and his wife Bonnie live in Keller close to their daughters' families. From there we Westward Ho the Wagons (or sedan) to Hobbs, New Mexico for an early Christmas with Kara and Barry and the twin grandtoddlers Alyna and Ryan. Probably on Christmas Day we will trek to Kyle, Texas for another Christmas with Matt and Kathryne and our grandsons Sean and Joshua. Sunday, December 27, will find us making the 800+ mile journey home so we can catch a Monday afternoon flight to Quincy, Massachusetts for New Years with Krista and Adam. I do wish William Shatner and Leonard Nemoy would get cracking on that Star Trek "beam me up, Scotty" technology...as much as we enjoy road tripping, to be able to hold a suitcase and stand on a transporter platform and hear someone state - in an excellent Captain Kirk imitation voice - "Energize!" would be the ultimate in vacation transportation. Perhaps if I live to Dr. Axe's prophetic age of 120, I will be able to sit in my wheel chair or lie in my adjustable bed and get beamed to any g' g' g' grandchild I want. I wonder if the technology would allow for beam blocking by which they could keep certain meddling in-laws from transporting in any time they wished. I can only imagine.

So, that's it for now. My ramblings are complete. Have a safe and warm holiday season with your family and friends and try not to eat too much. But when - not if - you do, be sure it's organic with agave nectar instead of sugar or Splenda and extreme dark chocolate along with entrees that are range free, grass fed, cage free, wild Alaska caught, and so forth and so on...and to all a good night!

Resistance is futile

Going where no man has gone before...and meeting the Borg. Captain P. learned at least one lesson from that lengthy encounter encompassing several episodes in that next generation: even when resistance is futile, resist anyway if it's right.

It was the right time to join the high tech world of cell phones especially finding ourselves without a charger in the house and three soon-to-begin-dying phones. One was in New Mexico (hope the twins don't call Australia too often, though that would be challenging with just the charger and no phone) and the other two were left in Gatlinburg last week. This ditching of all the chargers (like old Sixties Dodges) was unintentional, but it did spur us to a move we've talked of for awhile now. We have both been unhappy with the Go Phones we had bought at Wal-Mart in recent years. Having recently joined Facebook and begun blogging, I reflected that it might bea sign from somewhere...Jean Luk? Or perhaps Use-the-force-Luke? Anyway it was time to join the cell revolution.

We went from simple Go Phones to LG Xenons that have touch screens (aren't we worried about smudges and finger prints obscuring everything) and sliding key boards (not that we've ever texted anyone about anything). So here we are with two new fully charged cell phones. It took me awhile to know how to check voice mail, activate that infamous touchscreen, even turning it on and off was...actually exactly the same as with the Go Phones. So, it's not so bad after all. They even gave us instruction books. Wow! And they are surely prettier and sleeker than the old ones.

Kind of like our bodies on the healing diet...prettier and sleeker. Well, at least Delores'. Mine is just a little lighter. By the way, I did find a new belt at Ross Dress for Less today for several dollars less than the Wal-Mart Always price. I've needed one since I lost 4 waist inches and bought new pants. See how sneakily I turned this blog from technology to buying clothes that fit better. Actually the title still fits.

Whether in new technology or a new healthy lifestyle...resistance is indeed futile. That's what I thought when I ate that delicious piece of Boston Cream Pie at the MMC Christmas Open House last evening before night classes began. Chalk it up to an eating vacation day at work. I had very little resistance, so what small amount I did have was futile.

Thanksgiving...Yeah!

It's that time of year again, finally. It always seems a long haul from fall break to Thanksgiving. We get to leave today around noon for 5 days in a condo in Gatlinburg - no work, no meetings, no alarm clocks, no paper grading, no LiveText, no 40-minute commute. Though we will not be seeing any of our kids or grandkids this time (we do plan to see all of them in 4 different states around Christmas), we will get to be with some family. That will help make this season even more special.

In addition to the above list of NOs, there are many other Yeses for which I am very thankful:

Delores' beauty both outward and inward...

Our nearly 39 years of marriage...

Our sticking to the Healing Diet...

How great the food tastes...

Both of us off our meds...

Weight loss...clothes fit better...

The travel we get to do at this stage of life with 2 reliable cars and a major airport only 55 minutes from home...

A job that I love going to every day - well, almost every day...

New professional opportunities...

Spiritual challenges in my daily walk with HIM...

Our kids and grandkids who all still welcome us into their homes anytime we can get there. Specifically I'm grateful for...

Matt's mind...as sharp as the point on the broken appendage in the 50s classic sci-fi flick The Deadly Mantis...

Kara's laugh and singing voice...as lovely as Maria's in The Sound of Music...yes, these are a few of my favorite things...

Krista's service to others...Clara Barton and Florence Nightengale rolled into one delightful person...

Daniel's spiritual curiosity...trying to tread in the footsteps of Jesus as so many before him have done...

All four spouses being wonderful, supportive Christians...like all Jimmy Stewart's friends in the final scenes of It's a Wonderful Life...hear any bells ringing for angel wings lately?

Sean's intellectual curiosity (and enjoying the same dog stories as I did in my childhood - Lad and Silver Chief and Kazan can all become our best friends if only through the books we read)...

Joshua's energy and enthusiasm...like a builder and creator - I can imagine his helping the CREATOR design the heavens and the earth eons ago...

Alyna's dramatic personality...being a drama queen is not nearly as bad as it sounds - in fact, in a 14 1/2 month old, it's precious...

Ryan's curiosity that keeps him reaching for the heights (literally)...Sir Edmund Hillary (?) move over...

So, to all my loved ones - family and friends - I praise God for our health, joyfulness, and very being.

P.S. And I'm also thankful for blogs and facebook where I can share my mind-ramblings with family and friends just having fun and reflecting on the goodness of life. Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good nigh...uh, good morning. Wow it surely is early...

Inspiration!

As I grow older and older and older...I discover inspiration in the smallest tasks and sometimes the most unusual places. I wouldn't expect it, but God gives it to me anyway. These surprises are often rewarding and usually quite enlightening. Let me explain my hitherto rambling reflections in this latest-of-my blog attempts (only been at this stuff for 10 days or is it 10 daze?).

With our healthy eating of late, my wife commented recently that she is surprised that I didn't miss cheese. I used to eat it on about everything. Food just seemed better with American, deli deluxe, cheddar, etc., melted on it. It really did! But now pretty much the only cheese I've had in the last four months is goat cheese and goat cheese spread. I love the latest experient: bison loaf and goat cheese omelets. Delicious!

I don't know if I had the capability with Widows XP or Vista; but recently I discovered with Windows 7 that I can not only have a slide show of photos for the screen saver, but I can do that with the desktop wallpaper. So I have set up grandkids and kids photos to run as both of those. It's really pretty cool to catch yourself pausing from whatever computer task you were trying to accomplish to simply sit and stare at the cutest kids on the planet.

Then there are those spiritual moments of inspiration God allows us to have. Passages I've known for years and heard most of my life take on new meaning in a new set of circumstances. For instance...

Proverbs 17:6 states that Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. I recognize the crown of love that grandkids bring to my life not only in sceensavers and wallpaper, but also when my wife Skypes them. From 1,100 miles away (the highway mileage from Columbia, TN to Hobbs, NM (the boys in Kyle, TX are only a little over 800 miles off), we can see the 14-month-old twin toddlers playing and hear them talking clearly (well, as clearly as babies talk at that age...hmmm). But how about that last part of the proverb: parents are the pride of their children. That verse was driven home when my older daughter in a blog complimented her old man on his weight loss and his joining the cyber communication age by blogging and being on facebook (as I already said, for the last 10 days or so). What's really neat is that all of our children seem genuinely happy to welcome us whenever we want to travel to their homes. Awesome!

Proverbs 23:12 states that The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son dellights in him. I can change the wording of that proverb to add woman to man and daughter to son. How true it is that I take great joy in having four believing and faithful children all married to incredible spouses. Seeing them supporting one another in their daily spiritual walks as well as in their more secular journeys on this planet is a marvelous delight. Whether buying vehicles, getting out of debt, purchasing a house to make into a home (with a grandparents' guest room of course), raising my grandkids, leading Financial Peace University, walking their dogs, changing the kitty litter, cooking and cleaning and working and traveling, etc...it's an absolute joy to know that Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain...and Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward form him.

Though my children and their spouses all have a lot to learn and life will surely teach them much through the years along the way, they're off to a great start! Keep it up, kids! I'm proud of each of you (all eight of you)! If I throw in the grandkids so far...there are an even dozen. I absolutely refuse to count the three dogs and seven cats in their homes (at last count). Like God in all His children, I take great delight in all of mine.

Finally Eating To Live, not living to eat!

On July 14, 2009, we had our first visit with Dr. Josh Axe in Brentwood, TN. At that time I weighed about 227 pounds (down about 6 pounds from May 1), was taking two Avandamet tablets a day for Type 2 diabetes, and one pill a day for high blood pressure. We started getting adjusted to relieve the nerve inflammation and restore the Ark of Life in the neck (we were both at 0% curve) as well as restoring the spinal curvature in and straightening of the lower spine. We also started to detox and change our bodies from acidic to alkaline with the Healing Diet and purified water (among other things). In the photo Delores and I are depositing our empty pill containers in Dr. Axe's office jar for that purpose. As of the 3-month x-ray, here are the results so far:

1. Lost 24 pounds


2. Totally off diabetic meds


3. Totally off high blood pressure meds


4. Restored 15% curve in neck (average after 3 months is about 10%)


5. Straightened lower spine


6. Food tastes great


7. Don't miss some foods that I was sure I would hate giving up


8. Feel better with more energy and not even a cold yet during this flu season (I always get 2-3 sinus infections that end up going bronchial ever year)


9. Lighter on my feet on the racquetball court


10. Am much handsomer...(well 9 out of 10 isn't bad)

The results have been remarkable and the food really does taste great. Some of the things I thought I would miss that I "loved" are...

pizza...We actually made one from brown rice flour for the crust, topped with organic tomato paste, bison, and goat cheese with herbs and spices thrown in for good measure.

cheese...I used to put it on about everything. I don't anymore and don't miss it - goat cheese melts very nicely and flavors anything wonderfully.

pork...I'm enjoying the better tasting cage-free eggs with organic fruit (strawberries, banans, or grapefruit are my favorites) for breakfast - you should try my creamed eggs with almond milk and rice flour or my bison/goat cheese omelet.

ice cream...As long as I can eat my favorite nuts in moderation (cashews, almonds, walnuts, peacans, Brazils, and macadamians) and the occasional square of extreme dark chocolate (I like the 85-90% cocoa), I am okay without the cream.

Those are just a few of the things I'm not missing because of the delightfully scrumptious food. As a friend from church recently remarked, "Kerbe, it sounds as though you are experimenting in the kitchen." Remarkably insightful.

Pat Conroy's World

For the last "several" years my students in the foundations course that I teach at Martin Methodist College, Education as a Profession, have been watching the film version of Pat Conroy's journey into school teaching. Now a famous author (Prince of Tides, Lords of Discipline, et al), he started out as a school teacher. He wrote of an early career move in his book The Water Is Wide about his "year" on Yamacraw Island off the South Carolina coast in an all-black school. He taught grades 5-8. If you search your Rand McNally Road Atlas, or any other for that matter, you won't find Yamacraw pinpointed. No, it's not like Brigadoon in the musical by that name - a village in Scotland that only appears once every 100 years. It's the fictionalized name for Dafuskie Island near Hilton Head. The original movie was called Conrack apparently because of difficulty some of the students had in learning to pronounce their new teacher's name. Then about 2-3 years ago Hallmark Hall of Fame flicks did a remake titled the same as the book. This version of The Water Is Wide has "cleaner" language, but it doesn't do as good a job of depicting either Conroy's creative teaching techniques or the bigotry he battles every step of the way. He eventually gets fired for usurping the authority of the big dog on the mainland who runs a tight, unforgiving, and totally prejudiced ship.

In October of 2009, I had the opportunity to travel to Dafuskie Island and tour the school house where Pat Conroy taught his kids. It was a highlight of a very pleasant vacation. My wife Delores and I took the boat to the island - the only way to get there except maybe by small seaplane or holding onto a dolphin for dear life...Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning...Remember? We rented a golf cart for a few hours as the preferred mode of transportation around the island. With a crude map of main roads marking all the touristy spots, we circumnavigated from west to east. It was a really neat trip for several hours. Now when I view the film with my students, I can tell them the rest of the story and even show pictures.

Can you hear God singing?

For years I've used the question generated by the last phrase in the New International Version of Zephaniah 3:17..."He rejoices over you with singing" as part of my personal email signature. I've quoted the verse and then queried, "Can you hear God singing?" My pulpit minister even called attention to this little-known verse in a sermon a couple of years ago. In all reality I know I've heard God singing...Where? You might ask. My answer would be, "In many places."
I heard HIM following the emergency C-section of my youngest. I was holding the hours-old miracle in a rocking chair next to the incubator. As I softly crooned "Thank God for Kids," I could've sworn I wasn't singing alone...perhaps it was just the voice of the nurse under whose watchful eye I swayed, but I could've sworn...
I head HIM as well in the roar of dawn's early light at High Falls in Canada. Camped on the knoll of the island overlooking the wider-than-high falls that steered the river from one lake to the next, I woke early to a scene of mist and fog. Sitting in the tent for a moment before venturing out to capture the photo that now hangs enlarged on my bedroom wall, I was sure there was more than the wind in those swaying trees and that roar of the rapids.
Then there is the angelic voice HE gave my second child and first daughter. I love to hear her sing. She can take that high note in the quite-difficult-to-croon national anthem up into the rafters as few that I've ever heard. I imagine it's not just her voice alone giving my the shiver up my spine.
So, how about you? Can you listen quietly and perhaps remember some moments in time when you just might have heard that still small voice...singing? I'll bet you can. If not, get the poem "Creation" by James Weldon Johnson; read it aloud, but softly; and listen. God might start reciting along...or maybe He'll begin to sing - there is a choral version of that epic poem. What an incredible imagining! What a God we serve...one who sings love songs over His children. WOW!